We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell