I wish I could punch you in the face.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
