Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
