Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
