I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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