I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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