the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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