He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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