This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize