yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
