ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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