My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
