Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
