Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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