Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
