So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
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just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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