did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
