Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
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You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
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I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I need water and some morals
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