i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
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I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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