anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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