yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
