So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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