i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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