jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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