Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
