the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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