i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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