Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize