Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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