Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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