I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
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I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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