Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
