i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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