I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
