Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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