i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
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you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
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The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Enjoy the penises
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