Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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