guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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