what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Less talking, more tequila
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
