Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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