she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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