I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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