Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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