Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
