I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The struggles of a small town man whore
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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