If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
