my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
