Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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