i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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