jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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