You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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