think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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