"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
