its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
