I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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