I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
