Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
